Thank God I'm out of the Biz

Here's what I would have been doing today if I still worked in the news biz: Chasing a 14-year-old shark bite victim all over south Florida in 90-degree-plus heat, gathering quotes for yet another story on Is it Safe to Go Into the Water!!??

Instead, I can sit back and watch my husband do it for TV news. Thank goodness I'm now a novelist (at least a would-be novelist), and not a reporter.

Fortunately, the kid is fine ... the shark latched on and wouldn't let go, requiring the response of emergency rescue personnel. The EMT brought a giant hatchet, just in case, but the five-foot nurse shark let loose after somebody gave him a punch in the nose.

All's well that ends well, except in cable TV news, it never ends. The interviews just keep getting played over and over and over .... until the next story of nature on the rampage comes down the pike.

I'm Driving this Baby Again!

OK ... I think.

I successfully erased the big fingerprints of my fictional character from MY blog ... and I feel like I'm back in control again. (We'll see how long that lasts!)



In the meantime, I've found a new spot for Rosalee Deveraux, the "Mama'' in my down-home Mama Mysteries series. She hijacked my profile, inserting her own, when I tried to build an advice blog in her "voice.'' These pesky fictional characters really have a lot of nerve!

Check out Ask Mama's new site: http://ask-mama.blogspot.com/

And we'll see if I can keep Rosalee on the page and out of my life . . . though her long-suffering daughter, Mace, would tell me that's a very difficult thing to do. At least that's what Mace would tell me if she weren't a fictional creation, too.

I' ve been Mama-jacked!

Weirdest thing happened: I'm trying to create a blog in the "voice'' of my mystery novel character, Rosalee Deveraux, AKA "Mama'' of the Mama Mysteries.
Everything is going swimmingly. I've given her a little Web home, Ask Mama.

I've gotten a couple of letters that "Mama'' can answer in her down-home, plain-talkin' style.
I'm feeling quite proud of myself. Until I suddenly realize that the fake profile I created for this fictional character's site has superseded MY profile on my real blog, Mystery Gal.
http://mysterygal-mysterygal.blogspot.com/

The profiles for BOTH sites have the fake stuff I created for Mama: We both live in Himmarshee, Fla., we've been married four times, we have three daughters ... none of which, of course, is true in my case.
Uhmmmm . . . talk about my character taking over my life!
I keep remembering that old Twilight Zone episode where a ventriloquist gets into trouble because his dummy keeps telling him to kill people .... hmmmm.
The only saving grace: Mama isn't the least bit murderous. She does, however, have an unnatural attraction to butterscotch-dipped cones at the Dairy Queen.
Today, I stopped at the Dairy Queen ....

It's ALL good. (Oh, yeah?)

Is there a better feeling than having a productive day, knowing the writing is really singing? (As opposed to stuttering, which happens--occasionally).

I'm about to finish Chapter 20 of Mama Rides Shotgun, out of some 40 chapters. Not exactly the home stretch, but at least I can spot The End in the distance.

I'm back into the minds of my characters, which is a good thing. And, no, it doesn't mean I'm a scary schizophrenic, hearing voices. Well, I DO hear voices, but they're the voices I've created.

"No, they aren't!''

Yes, they are!

"No!''

Yes!

. . Anyway . . .

The characters had been shutting me out for a while, which wasn't very nice of them. They weren't there when I needed them, weren't behaving like I wanted them to. And they had a lot of nerve, seeing as how I'm the one who breathed life into them in the first place.

"No you didn't!''

Okay, whatever. Today was all good, though. The characters behaved . . .

"No, we didn't!''

. . . mostly, anyway. And since this is my computer and my blog, that will be my ("Our!'') final word.

Independence Day

This is how unmotivated I am: The city of Fort Lauderdale's holiday fireworks are blasting off along the New River downtown, less than a half-mile away.
Pop! Bam! Whiz!
Not only did I not ride the bike down there, I didn't even get up, open the door, and walk outside where I could look up in the sky and watch them.
Of course, a long afternoon of lightning storms and torrential rains have kind of put a damper on the holiday here. I've been moping around the house, reading some old books by Lewis Grizzard and Roy Blount Jr. (I'm in such a pissy mood, not even reading funny books by great humorists is making me feel better).
My TV reporter husband is off on an extended adventure to the North Pole (!) While he's off cavorting in the ice, it's SWELTERING in South Florida, as usual for the summer. I'm feeling lonely and forgotten on the Fourth of July.
Independence Day? More like Quit-Being-So-Dependent Day.